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I can confidently say that every woman at some point in her life has struggled with self-confidence. I used to be one of those women who had low self-confidence on a regular basis. Now, I can proudly report that I very rarely have negative self-talk and I have changed my own internal dialogue. By no means am I perfect at doing this all the time, I still occasionally find myself turning back to old habits. However, I believe in myself and this belief has allowed me to achieve my goals and will allow me to achieve anything I set my mind. Here are some points I have learned along the journey of building my self-confidence!
Perfectionism is Overrated
Being a perfectionist has been the biggest hurdle for me to overcome. I used to expect perfection in everything I did. When I didn’t meet my unrealistic expectations, I would be so hard on myself to the point it affected my everyday life and I couldn’t get anything done. Once I accepted that not everything I did had to be “perfect”, I found myself doing and trying new things. I started to go outside of my comfort zone on a daily basis. When you focus on the unrealistic idea of perfection, it kills your self-confidence. Perfectionism is overrated, unrealistic, and impossible, so don’t let it control you!
Failure? I’m Sorry I Don’t Know You
Your so called “failure” is not failing. I used to be afraid of failure, but then I learned that you only truly fail if you quit whatever sets your soul on fire. Quitting what sets your soul on fire is due to a lack of self-confidence. If you go for your goal with all you have and you “fail” then you didn’t really fail. Instead, you just gathered what you needed to make sure sure you succeed in the future.
There Are No Rules
You are a victim of the rules you make up in your own head and of other people’s rules that you follow. Especially as women, we think there are things we have to do or don’t have to do. Guess what ladies… YOU CAN DO WHATVER YOU WANT! Following the rules you set for yourself prohibits you from taking risks. Following someone else’s rules creates unhealthy relationships and just makes you gosh darn miserable! Additionally, it makes you feel like you don’t have the power to make your own decisions and it makes your self-confidence nonexistent. Ditch the rules and do whatever the heck you want!
Faith > Fear
If you want to succeed in achieving your goals, picture yourself achieving your goals and you will. Always believe in yourself without hesitation. Faith in yourself will diminish the fear of the unknown and it allows you take risks. One of my favorite quotes is from Danielle Canty, who is the president of BossBabe. She said, “The thought of not achieving my goal is worse than being disciplined enough to get it done”. Live by this quote! You need to reframe your mindset and think about your goals in this way. Have self-confidence so being disciplined enough to reach your goals is never a concern. Do you never want to achieve your goals and be miserable? No, I didn’t think so!
Why Not Me?
Ask yourself, why not me? There is absolutely no reason why it shouldn’t be you!
I learned these things over years and years of lacking self-confidence. These things take time, but reframing your mindset is the first step in living the live that you WANT and the life you DESERVE. You deserve to love yourself. You deserve to have so much self-confidence that you inspire other women. You deserve to achieve what you daydream about!
Xo Haley Jean
Sura Kamil says
Wow I love “you only truly fail if you quit” that’s so true. I’ve always thought of failure as not reaching a certain number or a particular follow count, but that’s such a bad mindset. Failure is when you just give up and stop on what you worked so hard to achieve. Loved this article.
Haley Jean says
Thank you so much for your insightful comment! I am so happy that you liked the article and found value. I totally understand where you are coming from. It is super easy to get caught up in the numbers!
Xo Haley Jean
Pam says
Wow – what a wonderful, and powerful post. Truthfully, it could not have came to me at a better point in my life! “Why not me?” so powerful – and I will be taking this thought with me for the rest of my day.
Sometimes I tell myself, “What IF i make it? What IF this actually works out?” I always get negative thoughts but I like to change those thoughts some times and really flip it to be in my favour. Thanks again for the wonderful post!
Haley Jean says
Thank you so much! I am so happy that you found value in this article! I love you telling yourself “what if I make it?”. That is such a great self-affirmation! When you ask yourself “why not me?” and “what if I make it?”, there is really nothing else standing in your way!
Xo Haley Jean
Shelley Chinn says
Haley Jean is beautiful inside and out! I am so happy watching you realize your dream. Keep smiling that beautiful smile. Thank you for all of the wonderful advice and direction.
Haley Jean says
Wow, thank you! Your love and support means the world to me!
Xo Haley Jean